Cal Tech

The only time I wandered around Cal Tech, I noticed a corpse lying on the floor of an office.

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35 Responses to Cal Tech

  1. I’m sorry sir. An older boy told me to do it.

  2. erica says:

    Is there a moral to your sentence? (I almost said “story” but it lacks a few details to fall into that category.)

  3. Rudolf Winestock says:

    Are you sure that it wasn’t one of those famous Caltech pranks?

  4. Steve Johnson says:

    Hmm, how much ground did you cover in your wanderings and how long did they take?

    Maybe we could estimate the campus mortality rate that way.

  5. Oh I get it. The place is dead.

  6. MawBTS says:

    I guess he died due to climate change, huh.

  7. ursiform says:

    I went to Caltech. Never saw a corpse lying on the floor of an office.

  8. mitchellbpowell says:

    Nobody else seems to be asking, so I’ll give it a shot: why was the corpse lying on the floor of an office?

    • gcochran9 says:

      Because that’s where the guy was when he took cyanide. I was walking around, rubbernecking: I must have been one of the first people to see him there that morning. I assumed that he had pulled an all-nighter and was asleep on the floor – but he was dead. Right after I walked past, someone went in and closed the door.

      I later heard most of the story, but I only found out his name a couple of hours ago, when I googled the case.

  9. I sometimes saw corpses near my office, but that was in a medical school. How did you know it was a corpse? Had it been decapitated? Did you pause to check vital signs? Had the previously alive person been very irritating to you? Was he yet another academic unwilling to understand the breeder’s equation?

  10. robert king says:

    This is the second suspicious death Greg has admitted being “close to”. If he turns into that woman from “Murder She Wrote” (all of whose contacts die mysteriously) I think a pre-emtive arrest may be called for before we are all doomed.

  11. IC says:

    You should try to have a tour of medical examiner office. The dead bodies there are much more fun (gunshot, car accident, shotgun ampputated body parts, rutten delicious smelled body with bones ect).

  12. BurplesonAFB says:

    Had he a mask like Castlereagh?

  13. dave chamberlin says:

    How would a considerate person commit suicide. If the prospective dead person went to a hospital where most people give up the ghost one would greatly reduce the chance of success. If you went to a funeral home and just lied down on a table and expired it would prove extremely confusing to the proprietors. Disappearing isn’t easy. Letting yourself be discovered in your own home by loved ones after you have been dead a while is probably the rudest way to go. Perhaps it is best if we remain stumped.

  14. Brett says:

    Was it Ditch Day?

  15. little spoon says:

    Perhaps this is your way of admitting culpability

  16. ursiform says:

    On the topic of Caltech, but not of suicide …

    Caltech, which doesn’t give athletic scholarships, and rarely wins sporting events, managed to end up sanctioned by the NCAA a couple of years ago. Even though all Caltech students can not only read, they can all do physics problems. But those abilities, even coupled with being a student in good standing at Caltech, are not enough for the NCAA to consider you a legitimate college student. It turned out that a feature of the Caltech enrollment system left some students technically academically ineligible for the the first couple of weeks of each term.

    This happened about the same time a study was released showing that many athletic powerhouse schools were enrolling athletes who couldn’t read. But those schools understood the system well enough to make sure their “students” were enrolled in plenty of units of remedial alphabet and basket weaving. (And had people lined up to do their work for them and professors lined up to pass them even if they were never seen in class.)

    But Caltech was letting its students take a couple of weeks to decide if they wanted to sign up for, say, tensor calculus or advanced quantum mechanics. As far as the NCAA is concerned, real students take remedial alphabet. They don’t spend two weeks deciding which geek class to take. How dare Caltech pretend its athletes are really students!

  17. Sandgroper says:

    One of the most considerate suicides in history was Sylvia Plath. She stuffed a blanket in the crack under the kitchen door to make sure the kiddies wouldn’t get gassed before putting her head in the oven.

    It only delayed the inevitable though – when her son grew up, he committed suicide too.

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